❗TRIGGER WARNING ❗

This tweet reminded me that I have been through some things I never thought I’d survive and I did. I remember how throughout last year the running theme of my life was self-harm and suicide. I knew I didn’t want to actually die but just the thought of bringing harm to myself just felt like I was in control of something. Everything was spiraling out of my hands and I felt the only thing I had control over was my body. So, I did so much harm. I began to guzzle bottles of red wine until it landed me in the hospital with the infusion. I don’t know what happened but the alcohol did something to my stomach and for a while, I couldn’t eat or drink water so I was dehydrated. That Monday I was detained at the hospital is all a blur to me. I don’t know how I got to work and how I worked a bit before the doctor made me lie down and get the infusions. You’d think I would be scared enough to do better but I didn’t. I just wanted the illusion of control so, I got into something else. Something I vowed to the Lord to abstain from. That took me spiraling down a dark path. 2022 is a year I thought I’d never survive but I’m here today 2/2/23. A survivor! I came out of 2022 with my life and my wrists free from the scars of cutting. People are proud of a lot of things but I’m just proud that I’m alive. When I say my biggest achievement is staying alive, I mean it because I didn’t think I’d be. December 27th, 2022, I was this close but I made it. I don’t know what you’re going through but listen to me and believe me when I say, it’ll get better. There’s light at the end of the tunnel and morning will come after the night. Stay prayed up and talk to a professional to get the help you need. May God give you a miracle. Stay blessed loves❤️