So, I was going through old pictures and I saw pictures I had taken with some friends. I really love pictures because no matter how many years have passed since it was taken, if you won’t remember all the things that led to that moment you’d remember some of it. You’d recall how you felt in that moment and the bond you shared with those in it with you.

Sidebar: That’s why I delete all the pictures I have with men I once had a thing with because seeing them brings back memories that may be detrimental to my new life without them.

So, I was looking at these pictures and I remembered how close I was to some of my friends and how different things are right now. I won’t knock the fact that you sometimes grow apart because you are going in different directions but these are people that I always thought would be by my side and I’d be by theirs.

Initially, when I thought of this post and even if you read the title you’d realize that I was going to make this post about me being the reason why we drifted apart. I’m not pushing blame or even acting as if I didn’t contribute but if all parties are going to be totally honest with themselves then they’d realize just like I realized that I was at fault and I pushed them away.

I’m the type of person that usually likes to take the fall for why a relationship didn’t work out. I know it’s wrong and it goes beyond accepting my faults.

Sidebar: I’m going off track again. So much is going on in my mind regarding this post that I may have to write another one.

Okay so, I got my mind right. Here’s the thing, all these friendships that didn’t work out or grew apart can’t just be the other party. I remember I was really close with some girls way back Senior high school but after a while, we stopped talking. I thought it was them but honestly, it’s me. I don’t try enough to be anyone’s friend.

And then I went to the university and became really close with these four girls and guy and then we grew apart again. There was this girl and the guy that I was really close with that I don’t talk to anymore. I’m sure you’re like Omg it happened again? Yes it did. Now you can’t tell me that something is not wrong with me.

I’ve always been a little bit uncomfortable with my background because it’s way too complicated and the people I usually become friends with seem to have an uncomplicated life. So, you can say I’m attracted to what I seek to have in my life.

The above picture got me thinking it’s solely about how dating relationships work but as I write this post, it came to mind that it can easily apply to friendships.

Another picture that got me thinking as o write this post is this.

So, as I thought about the quote, I realized that yeah I’m a little insecure about my family and background but I shouldn’t let that stop me from ruining relationships. So, I can say I’ve learnt my lesson and I hope to do better. It won’t be easy but I’d try.

I’m a hermit and I say this with all seriousness. I can literally be by myself all the time and not be tired. I’m very weird. I have friends I don’t talk to but after a while I’m good but there are others that it’s going to take a long time to get back to being what we were.

But the fact is we’re all grown and busy. No one has the time to be talking everyday so then what happens. I’ve seen way too many friendships sink and I don’t want to do that anymore.

That’s all I got to say. I don’t know if this post makes sense.