The bible tells us three times in the songs of songs book not to awaken love until we are ready. The admonishment is directly targeted at daughters so essentially women. There are many ways to kill this particular cat and I can already envision it but for today, in light of recent experiences, I believe that this admonishment goes to both genders.

Why do I think so? When you study the dynamics of relationships, you notice that it is men who normally awaken the love of women. A woman could be living her life minding her own business and here comes a man who fancies her. He could have short term plans or long-term plans but he would keep those to himself and consciously or unconsciously paint a picture of possibility of a future together. The woman’s love is then awakened and she begins to live life with their future in hindsight.

With this little scenario, you can see where I am going with this, right? I find it absolutely irritating when men come and start something you never asked for and then leave you hanging and act as if you came knocking. I for one decided in 2023 to not get seriously involved with anyone until I go through therapy to deal with all my unresolved issues. This broken version of me is not the version I believe my future husband deserves. So, guess what I do? I let people know that I can only do friendship and nothing more because I am not ready and it won’t be fair. Unfortunately. I am human and I would definitely find people attractive and interesting but because of my decision, I don’t approach them but that has not stopped people who don’t have me in their future from trying to link up with me. I have major attachment issues and so I definitely get affected. One thing I’m always thankful for is my ability to play off my hurts and disappointments.

This piece is a humble plea to anyone who reads this and is in the habit of starting up romantic things with people with no follow through plans to put a stop to it. The aftermath work for the other party is not a pretty sight and let us adhere to the words of the bible and not awaken love until were ready. Don’t use people as fill ins because who you really want isn’t available. That person is a human and has feelings. If it were done to you, you wouldn’t enjoy it. I hope going forward, we all treat each other how we want to be treated. Be kind and gracious. And love sans conditions when we’re fully ready to take it through the end. Let the damage and traumas end somewhere. Let it end with you. Gracias.