It’s Father’s Day! Just before I get into this post, I want to wish all you wonderful fathers a very happy Father’s Day. May God continue to bless and favor you for taking your job seriously and doing it well. We pray for more of you.

Father’s Day is always a hard day for me. Before I carry on, let me put this out there. My dad is still alive. We text everyday. He paid my fees and helped me get an education. Occasionally, got me luxuries. He’s a good person.

So, I feel like I don’t fit in. I’m lost actually. As a little girl, my dad was my hero. But as I grew, I saw and understood so much that ultimately altered my view of my dad and wrecked our budding relationship.

My parents divorced when I was little bit over the age of 3. I’m almost 26 now. I met him again when I was 10/11. I’m not too sure but I was so glad I had a father because my cousins had one. They had fun times with them and though they included me, I felt left out. So, when my dad reconnected with me again, I was over the moon. I was the happiest littlest girl. He gave me the biggest teddy bear that someone ruined but he replaced it. I didn’t live with him until I went to high school. That’s when I started growing up. I still had the utmost faith in my father until I didn’t anymore after high school.

This post isn’t about bashing him because honestly, he did what he could with what he knew. He grew up without a father because his died. So, he didn’t really see what father was. He provided when he could and that was it. There really wasn’t any relationship. We talked but it was always me listening. Doing all he said. He always talked me out of doing so much.

So, when I got into relationship with God. I treated the relationship just the way it was with my dad. Everything He said, I doubted. When I did something wrong, I was so afraid that I’d turn away from Him because I could feel His disappointment and I could picture His face condemning me.

I didn’t know how to act and I envied those who had really great relationships with God and their father. I remember asking God why is this my life. He told me that, “I’m not him. You can trust Me. I am a Man of My word. I want to get to know you. Talk to me.”

That was so freeing. I fixed my relationship with God and honestly, best decision ever. My dad and I still have a rigid relationship and mind you it still hurts but I know my Heavenly Father has got me all day everyday.

To those who find the father topic troubling like me, God is really different. I know it because I’ve tasted of His goodness.

“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

He’s really got us. Turn over the hurt to God and let Him heal you with His love. I have an earthly father but at any point in time you hear me talking passionately about a father-daughter relationship, I’m talking about God. He’s the Father I want to dance with. The One I want to hold me close.

To the men who are fathers and will be fathers, please take your job seriously. There are so many people with daddy issues. You may even be one of those people. Stop passing on your trauma. It has to end with you. If trauma can be passed on then you can get healed and pass on healing. Be present in your children’s lives. You can’t do it by yourself. You are the Heavenly Father’s image. Seek His guidance. He’s ever ready to help you.

Thank you for reading! And Happy Father’s Day again.