There comes a time in a person’s life when they must encounter pain of the worst kind. It could be the death of a loved one or a heartbreak or loss of a job or possibly the faraway nature of a dream due to bleak current circumstances. Irrespective of why the common denominator is pain. We feel pain on a daily basis but there’s always this particular painful memory that forces you to change. Change like most things in this world can be positive or negative but nonetheless its change. The choice is always ours when it comes to the kind of change we want. Whatever hurt us does not need to have the power to hurt us forever. Many a times hurt people hurt themselves more. They take the wrong turn and use the painful memory to live a life of pain and unhappiness. I was at that point once. That point where I was so hurt I was willing to sacrifice everything I had worked so hard for just to exact a revenge that was pointless. I got to that point when an ex-boyfriend broke my heart like never before. You can’t begin to imagine some of the actions I was willing to take just to get back at him.
I know a lot of people are so over the Jesus thing but I am going to be cliché and say He saved me from myself. You know I can describe myself as a church girl. Spent most of my life in church doing what all church kids do. I pray, praise, worship and read the word but I hate to admit it but I really did not have the kind of relationship with God that let me put God above everything else. Before starting my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, I had been in quite a number of unsuccessful relationships. At such a young age, I was terrified of never finding love so I jumped at anyone who showed a bit of interest as long as he met my list-you know that list we all have.
I got so emotionally attached to a man who was great eye candy. He looked good but that was pretty much it. We rarely had things in common but I was over the moon with him. I made him into my god and as much as I hate to admit it, I put him above God and that’s when everything went south. Here’s a guy who doesn’t have much in common with me yet I was so attached I couldn’t bear to be separated from him. You’d think its love but it really wasn’t. I finally understand the part of the Bible that admonishes us not to be unequivocally yoked because it’s too painful to want to be together as a unit and be going in different directions. Wow, ha-ha, I went off track. Sorry. So, I was saying I’ve been there. That place you are now. That hurtful place-the crossroad. Deciding whether to use that pain for good or bad. I’m here only because God opened my eyes to see that I can use my pain for good. Here’s what I did; I cried, I got angry, depressed and all that other stuff but then I remembered that the pain is too much for only me and there’s a different kind of man who would gladly take hold of my baggage. I couldn’t have gone back to God if I was not constantly being reminded of His presence.
My message has always been simple. You’re never alone even if it feels like you are. There are tons of people going through what you’re going through. Time truly heals all wounds if you allow the right Doctor to take care of your wounds. We can deny all we want but God exists and His love is incomprehensible. It’s been a couple of years since I got that epiphany and my life is better way better than it would’ve been if I had decided to do the work of my Healer. And guess what? After he fixed me up, I met a man-an amazing man.